Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
