so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
