She said her name was "party"
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize