I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
