Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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