I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
