the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
