apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
