my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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