Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Me too!
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
