In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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