took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize