I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
