I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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