I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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