You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
