It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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