are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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