I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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