if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
