Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
