Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson