We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
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Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned