Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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