I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood