Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.