i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
