Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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