Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
