Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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