I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
