Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(619): View more from California

i miss you so much

(858): View more from California

i miss you too

(858): View more from California

oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me

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(404): View more from Georgia

Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.

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(740): View more from Ohio

There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again

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(515): View more from Iowa

Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(315): View more from New York

I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.

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(917): View more from New York City

I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.

(917): View more from New York City

Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.

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(804): View more from Virginia

I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.

(1-804): View more from Virginia

pants will make it better? really?

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.

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