Texts From Last Night

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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.

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  (508): hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose. http://tfl.nu/ylto
  Replies (22) Good night (1132) Bad night (942)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.

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  (817): If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral. http://tfl.nu/qqbj
  Replies (13) Good night (3091) Bad night (590)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  i'm watching the fashion show on bravo

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  you're cheating on project runway?

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  if you can't score coke, you buy crack.

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  (919): i'm watching the fashion show on bravo (262): you're cheating on project runway? (919): if you can't score coke, you buy crack. http://tfl.nu/k398
  Replies (19) Good night (3057) Bad night (649)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.

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  (732): soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm. http://tfl.nu/dqxm
  Replies (12) Good night (4352) Bad night (775)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.

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  (913): some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night. http://tfl.nu/2xhx
  Replies (18) Good night (9523) Bad night (754)
• Favorite

  (863): View more from Florida

  you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar

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  (863): you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar http://tfl.nu/o1eu
  Replies (19) Good night (930) Bad night (5159)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.

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  (817): I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number. http://tfl.nu/dwaz
  Replies (1) Good night (2713) Bad night (631)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?

  (1-260): View more from Indiana

  Considering how often you blow him,high.

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  (260): He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds? (1-260): Considering how often you blow him,high. http://tfl.nu/epf2
  Replies (4) Good night (4808) Bad night (1228)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?

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  (678): Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up? http://tfl.nu/320o
  Replies (10) Good night (2788) Bad night (828)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.

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  (336): I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years. http://tfl.nu/1nws
  Replies (18) Good night (1339) Bad night (832)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.

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  (978): Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus. http://tfl.nu/c88k
  Replies (9) Good night (2976) Bad night (536)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..

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  (419): He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk.. http://tfl.nu/th8z
  Replies (12) Good night (2628) Bad night (531)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.

  (1-309): View more from Illinois

  Tis the season.

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  (309): I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring. (1-309): Tis the season. http://tfl.nu/pjke
  Replies (6) Good night (1258) Bad night (348)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.

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  (208): When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls. http://tfl.nu/qm6d
  Replies (0) Good night (745) Bad night (264)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.

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  (937): It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick. http://tfl.nu/017k
  Replies (3) Good night (435) Bad night (384)

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