He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha