He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
