DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
