Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
