I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
