I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
