I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Hippo gnu deer
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
If I had your ass I would rule the world
We smell like vodka and hangover
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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