am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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