1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
