i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
