She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
