don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
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he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
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And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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