Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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