I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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