i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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