Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
