Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
