So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
