dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
