also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
