I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
and i looked up. we had an audience...
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
