I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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