Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
