craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
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Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
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I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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