hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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