Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
