whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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