I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
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