Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize
