My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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