Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
