this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
